"Black and Third World people are expected to educate white people as to our humanity. Women are expected to educate men. Lesbians and gay men are expected to educate the heterosexual world. The oppressors maintain their position and evade their responsibility for their own actions. There is a constant drain of energy which might be better used in redefining ourselves and devising realistic scenarios for altering the present and constructing the future." -Audre Lorde
I remember coming across this quote years ago and having an ah-ha moment (which is ironic, considering Audre Lorde hard-core schooled my white self). Last week, sitting in an interfaith Pride service in uptown Charlotte, I got a reminder of just how prevalent this kind of expectation by those in the dominant culture really is. A city official, showing utter support for the event, and for gay and trans people, rallied them to tell their stories and let those who don't understand get to know them as people. This will solve the hatred and violence directed at them. Just tell your story to every. single. person. you. meet.
I was exhausted for them just thinking about it.
Now, don't get me wrong. I understand that this official meant well, but this is a major piece of the puzzle that is institutionalized oppression. Why do those of us in the privileged group expect it to be the work of the marginalized to educate us? As one of the clergy said later in the service, we can all make Google our friend. In other words, educate yourselves! I can't tell you how many times I've heard my friends (mostly my white/straight friends) say they just don't even know how to talk about race or trans or gay people or women who stay in abusive relationships. Guess what? You won't know unless you start working to understand the reality of those who are different from you. And it is work. So, commit to being willing to do the work for yourself, and be willing not to feel like a hero for doing so. Do it simply because you want a better, richer, safer, more empathetic life and to be genuinely connected to the people you share the world with.
You can start with these great essays: Beverly Daniel Tatum's "Defining Racism: Can We Talk," Suzanne Pharr's "Homophobia and Sexism," and Peggy McIntosh's "White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack." Happy reading!
