"Beloved community is formed not by the eradication of difference but by its affirmation, by each of us claiming the identities and cultural legacies that shape who we are and how we live in the world."-bell hooks
Even though there are extreme people in the current climate expressing outright racism, sexism, homophobia, religious intolerance, and general hatred for anything or anyone that falls outside the "norm," the majority of us soothe ourselves with the very real fact that we do not share those values. While this is mostly true, it is also true that when we claim not to see difference we are lying to ourselves and to each other. Furthermore, why is the end goal to erase the differences between us? Who decides what difference is, and who gets to enforce this concept of "differentblindness" anyway? In fact, if we are to reassure ourselves of our lack of prejudice with such blindness aren't we essentially saying we are the standard and choose to make ourselves blind to all those "others," thereby putting ourselves in the driver's seat of benevolence?
When we identify with the dominant culture in one or more category (here in America that's white, male, Christian, straight, middle/upper class), and engage in the work of denying difference we are erasing the experience of anyone who does not share the privileged position. It is true that some marginalized people can "pass" as belonging to the privileged class (a white gay man, for example may not be obvious in terms of his sexual orientation to the average citizen), but some do not have that ability. If you are a black or brown person, or a woman, you can't just walk away from your body. You are literally in plain sight, and no protestations of blindness can actually erase the facts of your biology. Well-documented scientific studies of implicit biases are available for your further edification on the latter point, and these biases are a key component to the argument against our ability to be colorblind, but beyond the problem of intrinsic prejudice, when we fail to celebrate difference we erase the very humanity and lived experiences of people who have valid points of view, feelings, families, hopes, dreams; we rob them of their subjectivity.
When we insist that our culture allows the same opportunities to everyone if they will just take advantage of them, we buy into this notion of invisible difference in a major way. Not only are we participating in self-righteousness and ignorance, we are setting our children up to stereotype and to judge others, and themselves, by a very unrealistic standard. When we cling to the idea that America is a meritocracy, and that anyone who works hard has the same chance as anyone else who works hard we are trafficking in fantasy. Malcolm Gladwell's Outlier's breaks this down deftly by illustrating the various, often coincidental, factors that have to come into play to ensure success. Yes, we live in a democracy and enjoy opportunities many don't, but we all start from a different place and have access to different resources. I was pregnant at seventeen and had a family that offered financial, emotional, and practical (childcare) support. Many teens don't have any of those things and have to climb up a hill about three times higher than the already steep hill of teen motherhood. To not acknowledge the difference in resources to the success or failure of those mothers is irresponsible and unreasonable.
If you enjoy the privilege of being in the dominant group, it is easier to dismiss difference because it gives you relief from having to grapple with the difficulties others face. This is not to say that people who have access to resources have it easy, that they don't struggle, that they don't suffer. That is not what this is about. It's about being awake and empathetic to the disparities that exist due to difference. When we fail to recognize these disparities is when we allow stereotypes to proliferate. If we admit to ourselves that some of the things we have we got by virtue of our place in the culture we start to feel a desperate need to justify that. Suddenly, whole groups of people become too lazy, or too stupid, or too violent, or too emotional, or too _______(insert stereotype) to succeed.
Finally, when we deny difference, we demonize it, we insinuate it's bad. We see difference. We know difference. We understand fully that black is not white (in way more ways than skin color!), that gay is not straight, that woman is not man, that rich is not poor, that Muslim in not Christian. If you are insulated in a bubble where most people are like you and share your perspective, these differences can be scary, or make you self-conscious. If you can accept that, and are willing to move beyond it, difference can also add depth to your life experience. Instead of trying to force everyone to be like you, aligned with your values and beliefs (because, let's be honest, that's really what white people mean when they say they are colorblind), allow for those differences. Embrace those differences. A richer, more dynamic, more interesting tapestry will emerge, and your beautiful, different, amazing self will be woven right into the fabric rather than taking up the center circle from which all other colors emanate.
