In my years as an actor, director, and professor of acting, the connection between "real life" people and characters on stage has always been a fascinating one. Perhaps the most profound lesson I've gleaned is that all of us need to key into our intentions more honestly and with greater clarity. In the classroom I am known for bringing up complicated issues for discussion in a style that some have called fearless. I don't consider myself especially brave, but often colleagues or students have asked me if I worry I'll get into trouble. Truthfully, I don't worry about it. Perhaps that's because it's never happened, but I would argue it's never happened because of what I'm projecting.
What I am not projecting (and yet, technically, I am) is a concern for political correctness. Instead, I create an environment in which everyone's person, experience and insight is valued--even when we don't agree. This ability to have real discourse is a weak muscle in the culture right now, and we have to strengthen it. How? By being clear about what we are projecting. To do so, we have to start with our own perceptions and behavior. We cannot clear our defensiveness or self-righteousness, both major impediments to hearing and THINKING, until we take them out of their boxes, examine them, and own them. Only then, can we project the kind of listening that makes change possible.
In this journey toward true empathy the next step is to get outside of our selves and search for signs and signals in others' behavior. When we're talking with someone, are we more concerned with what our next brilliant turn of phrase will be, or our next put down, or are we projecting outward and assessing the impact the situation, our language, our behavior is having on the person to whom we are speaking? If we can tap into what lies beneath the words, our own and others', then we are capable of relating to their (what we call in the "biz") subtext. When we identify human vulnerabilities in others, we identify with others. Understanding this simple fact, and striving to project our intention to listen to, and actually hear, what those whose lived experiences are not our own is a concrete sign of progress toward healing rifts between individuals and groups.
